Several years ago I saw an article but now can't recall the name of the author, except that it was an Asian American woman who was married to a Caucasian male, and she was writing to defend the integrity of inter-racial marriage. I have tremendous respect for those who are willing to speak their minds thus admire her a great deal for her courage.

I have nothing against romance, be it inter-racial or not. It's only natural, in my opinion, that romance often starts with some physical attraction that ends up with marriage. In terms of mating and sex, we humans haven't really evolved away from the animal kingdom yet. Or have we? If two kids grow up and gain their maturity through their love and marriage, it's nothing but a beautiful story. If an a woman falls in love with a man with passion and live happily thereafter, I wish them the best as I do to everyone. Love shouldn't have any skin color or cultural boundaries.

But before you start complimenting my open-mindedness, I have to tell you that there was one sentence written by that woman that has lingered in my mind for quite some time: the most beautiful aspect of her marriage, I am paraphrasing her, is that her husband "John thinks that I'm exotic." If I remember it right, she also said that was also the beginning or almost of the basis of their marriage. To be frank with you, I did not like the message conveyed in that sentence.

What is confusing to me is I have no idea whether she was aware that, by indulging herself--an Asian female, as the exotic beauty, our outspoken author has somehow reduced herself, unconsciously maybe, to an object, an exotic thing for her husband to look at and to play with, if you don't mind my using the phrase. Exotic happens to be one of the long-standing stereotypes inflicted upon Asian women in this culture. We really don't need any reinforcement of such biased view, let alone by one of the victims.

Well, I am a normal guy and myself think exotic is a legitimate form of beauty. I am so glad that beauty has its great reservoir of diversity. It just happens that exotic ranks pretty high in some people's list of taste and preference. It's perfectly OK for a woman to desire that certain aspect of her person to be specially appreciated. Should we allow women preferences as to whom they to romance? You bet we should. If anything, almost all the cultures of our world are guilty of being tardy in allowing women's rights to choose their own life. Here in America, if young kids can cut their jeans open to show their chicken legs and piece their elephant noses to attract attention, I don't see why a woman cannot advertising herself as being exotic. Only when a mature woman makes exotic feature the basis of her marriage, I have trouble in believing the innocence of the whole deal. That's all, folks.

On the other hand, if you haven't noticed, there are many Asian guys feel badly about the trend that Asian women try to marry people other than men of their own race. Do they imply that the men of their own race have lost the capability to appreciate their beauty?

I told you I am average guy, I don't hold high opinions for anyone who rides on an exotic wave to get in with the power brokers or climbing the social ladder. No, I haven't forgot those who are slaving their lives away in a sewing factory or waitressing at a restaurant or baby-sitting or house-cleaning just to make a living. If a relation or sheer attraction rescues any of them "exotic beauties" out of the desperation of poverty, I will send my hearty congratulations to them lucky ladies and wish that happiness does not always come with a price later. Come on, people. Do I seriously think that any of you who are reading my humble writing now actually come from one of the aforementioned groups? Get real, will you?

Let me make this clear here: I just don't think that a well-educated woman likes to reduce her person into an object. This kind of volunteerism at best can only make me shake my heads.

Meanwhile, it's just equally bad for others to point fingers at any women to tell them who to date or marry. Personal jealousy or cultural egotism or conservatism will never get us anywhere here or there.

Hey, what the heck. I am a man, a Chinese man, stereotype dictates that I have a chauvinistic streak in me. At least that's how I am perceived by this culture. So fasten your seat belt, I will end my rambling by giving some advice to our exotic ladies: follow your own heart; don't give a damn to anyone's facial expressions or cheap flattery; master your own life, and make it beautiful according to your own taste. When in doubt, call your mamma. Use MCI, please.