Parents Often Care More About Race than Teens Do

Celeste Acain had a steady boyfriend for nearly half a year. It didn't matter that he was white and she was Filipino -- neither really cared.

To his parents, however, their relationship was unacceptable.

``They pretended to like me, and I seriously thought they did, until he told me that they hated me,'' said Acain, a junior at Santa Teresa High School in San Jose. ``I was astonished, not only because they lied and tried to hide what they really felt about me, but because they didn't like me for a really stupid reason.''

Although Acain and her boyfriend eventually broke up, they are part of a growing trend in the United States. According to a USA Today poll conducted in the late '90s, almost 60 percent of teens have dated outside of their race.

While this figure suggests the nation's teens are becoming more open to interracial dating, some parents have yet to reach the same level of tolerance. Many still insist their children find ``a special someone'' of the same ethnicity.

Traditional values

Acain's next boyfriend was Filipino like her. This time, his parents befriended her instantly, and she felt as though she had been ``a part of their family all my life.''

But after talking with one of his relatives, Acain arrived at a troubling conclusion.

``I realized then and there that was really the only reason they liked me -- because I was Filipino,'' she said. ``Why should the color of my skin or even my ethnicity make a difference?''

Race and romance, as Acain discovered, have often been linked in the United States. Up until the 1960s, some states had laws prohibiting sex or marriage between people of different races. Finally, in 1967, the Supreme Court decided bans on interracial marriage were unconstitutional.

Tolerance and understanding

When recent Saratoga High School graduate Gloria Yiu met her boyfriend, she worried more about balancing school with a relationship than she did about the fact that she was Asian-American and he was not.

``Dating someone that doesn't have the same ethnic background as you might be slightly more of a challenge, but with every relationship there are differences and challenges,'' Yiu said.

One such challenge Yiu and her boyfriend faced was ``hearing snide remarks from classmates.'' Despite that, she emphasized, it ``isn't something that consumes us.''

Instead, most of her friends remain supportive of her relationship. And, unlike many others, her parents are supportive, too.

``They were more concerned if he was a nice boy and treated me well,'' she said.