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Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish
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Posted by Andrew on Friday, July 23 @ 10:00:00 EDT
Contributed by DalaiWu |
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 By Shera Liming Wu
Special to ModelMinority.com
July 23, 2004
I have always wondered why non-Asian men stare at me. It gets me so angry. I assume that they have never seen a female Asian face before. I think to myself, “Hey!…have you never seen an Asian woman before?… What? …Is there a problem with being Asian?”
I have heard that many non-Asian men look at Asian women as being exotic and great lovers. They believe that Asian women are subservient—that they are to obey them at all times. Do people stereotype based upon their own insecurities or their insecurities regarding their own ethnicity? Should they not seek out the truth? They are so ignorant! The subject of the so called “Asian ‘Gook’ Fetish” comes up all of the time. This fetish is when a non-Asian male is attracted to an Asian female based solely upon the fact that she is Asian, not upon who she is. It is already bad enough that men objectify women. The exotification of women is even more preposterous.
It is difficult for me to understand this. I have an Asian friend who attends a very diverse urban private university and I ask her about this “Gook Fetish” all of the time. “Does this annoy you?” I ask. “Why does this happen? It makes no sense at all.” She replies, “Many non-Asian men think Asian women are easy to dominate in a relationship. I always tell them that it is nonsense and that it is an absolutely false statement! There are many people who make too many assumptions!”
Out of curiosity, I asked one of my classmates what he thought about Asian girls. He replied, “I think that they are sexy and exotic looking.” I have no doubt that he is being totally honest, because when I see him in the hallway, he always says, “Hi, Shera, my sexy Asian vixen.” I have since angrily instructed him to cease calling me that. Why is “sexy” analogous with being an Asian woman? Although he has been enlightened, I know that I have not at all changed his opinion of Asian women. However, I do not consider Jason to be any less of a friend. Fortunately he has complied and now just calls me Shera.
I do not like having to explain things that should already be understood. Everyone should realize that there are different people in the world. I dislike it when people think that all Asians are passive and quiet. I am not like that. Nor am I like the actress Lucy Liu, whom people call “The Dragon Lady.” She does not portray all Asian women. Not all of us use our appearance to achieve our goals or use Wu Shu to show our strength.
Do all non-Asian men believe that all Asian women fit these stereotypes? We are not defined by our appearance, our love making skills, or our martial arts abilities. I do not like being categorized and labeled. Why can I not just be Shera Liming Wu…daughter, student, woman or, how about, just human being? |
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Average Score: 1.83
Votes: 12
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Re: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish: Staring?...by Liming Wu (Score: 1)
by questionnaire on Friday, July 23 @ 12:37:31 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | | Pull open the floodgates! |
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Re: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish: Staring?...by Liming Wu (Score: 1)
by sinsoldier on Friday, July 23 @ 14:07:23 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | | Why did the writer use the term "Gook"? |
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Re: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish: Staring?...by Liming Wu (Score: 1)
by OmegaSupreme on Friday, July 23 @ 14:51:25 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | Good for you for spending the time to write this article and submit it here.
Unfortunately, when you still consider classmates such as Jason your friend despite his views on asian women, it really makes your arguments less convincing and more rhetorical in nature.
Although AFs have a right to be upset for the demeaning stereotypes placed against them by non-AMs, that still begs the million dollar question that has to be asked which is: then why do so many asian women date white men? |
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Re: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish: Staring?...by Liming Wu (Score: 1)
by ric on Friday, July 23 @ 16:06:03 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.xanga.com/ric2 | "Do all non-Asian men believe that all Asian women fit these stereotypes?"
ALL? Not "all" but I would have to say majority* of them, because is there anti thesis to the stereotype?
Like omegasupreme mentioned in his post
1. Why don't AFs speak up ?
2. Do Afs just buy into these stereotypes and go along with flow and status quo?
3. AFs complain about these so called sexy* stereotypes but how many use them to their advantage?
Jason is not a friend if he sees YOU as " sexy and exotic looking." If you were white, would he still be your friend? black? brown? how about not a very socially attractive AF?
Sorry sister, but unless AFs start ranting and bitching about these stereotypes and stigma its nothing but a loss cause. It would help though if these damn brain washed, sellouts AFs stop marrying/dating Interracial in such high % as well
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Re: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish: Staring?...by Liming Wu (Score: 1)
by questionnaire on Friday, July 23 @ 17:51:26 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | | My thoughts exactly about the friendship with Jason. It was good that she angerily told him that it bothers her. However, that comment Jason gave her just disturbs the hell out of me. |
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Re: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish: Staring?...by Liming Wu (Score: 1)
by Aznxcynical on Friday, July 23 @ 17:51:42 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) http://smx02k4@hotmail.com | Great...another AF complaining about it. But I bet you anything she probably has dated or is dating a WM. In anycase, I don't care to hear about your complaints. Do something about it other than just l3itch l3itch l3itch. I've had enough of AF just bitching about that shit and at the same time see so many dating a WM.
It really doesn't do anything to me who they date. But when I see so many AF complaining about that BS and at same time seeing just as many if not more dating crackers, that just ***** pisses me off.
DO us all a favor and do something about it. I'm sick of AF's bitching. Why do you always run to us the Asian Community when something goes wrong? I don't get that. Tell it to the crackers not us since so many of you choose to go the other way.
Like Omega said "Although AFs have a right to be upset for the demeaning stereotypes placed against them by non-AMs, that still begs the million dollar question that has to be asked which is: then why do so many asian women date white men?"
I bet even though outside yall complain bout this shit, deep down you know you want it. You know you enjoy it. That's why so many of you choose to date crackers even though you hate the way they view you...or do you? |
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Re: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish: Staring?...by Liming Wu (Score: 1)
by Aznxcynical on Friday, July 23 @ 18:18:42 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) http://smx02k4@hotmail.com | Btw what's with the use of the word "Gook"? I'm not offended or anything but I don't really think that was necessary.
""I have an Asian friend who attends a very diverse urban private university and I ask her about this “Gook Fetish” all of the time.""
"” She replies, “Many non-Asian men think Asian women are easy to dominate in a relationship. I always tell them that it is nonsense and that it is an absolutely false statement! There are many people who make too many assumptions!”"
That friend of yours, is she dating a WM? I wouldn't be surprised if she is even though she hates how AF are fetishized by em.
It sorta cracks me up to see how some AF here write stuff abouT Asiaphiles and expect us Asian guys to be mad about it. How can we be mad at those guys when you girls are dating em in large numbers? You girls are the ones dating em, even though you oh sooo hate how they exotify yall. I guess it's just a way to show that you're open minded huh?
But who's fault is it really? The WM? I think not. The greater fault is on your end. Do something about it. Don't come running to us, we can't help you if all the while you diss those kinda people but at same time is dating one. It makes you look pathetic.
If you're one of those Cracker chasing AF who complains about Asiaphiles but dates crackers, I don't wanna hear jack shit from you. |
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Re: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish: Staring?...by Liming Wu (Score: 1)
by ric on Friday, July 23 @ 18:33:41 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.xanga.com/ric2 |
Shera Liming Wu
You should read this post.
Everyone else remember this post?
http://modelminority.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=811&mode=&order=0&thold=0 |
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Re: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish: Staring?...by Liming Wu (Score: 1)
by silla on Friday, July 23 @ 19:24:49 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | That was an awesome article.
I applaud Liming Wu for her courageous article. Her view is a very progressive view of the status and image of Asian women in this country.
I hate to generalize, but usually Asian women who are highly educated and grew up in California tend to have this viewpoint. I have seen Asian women with even more "angier" views than her, but to me, she is obviously a very smart, educated woman that makes me proud to be Asian. |
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Re: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish: Staring?...by Liming Wu (Score: 1)
by tyster on Friday, July 23 @ 21:26:22 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | ***** idiots. Here's a woman who's smart enough to see how things ar stacked against her and she has the moxy to come out and boldly claim it wrong yet what does she get? Stupid comments speculating on the nature of her private life, people teeling her to shut uop because as an Asian woman she is automatically a race traitor.
Shera, there are apparently just as many ignorant Asians out there as there are Wjites but don't let it get you down. I hear you. Just don't you mind the dipshits out in the peanut gallery. |
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Re: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish (Score: 1)
by Fandango on Saturday, July 24 @ 02:07:46 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | We can talk about all the asiaphilia that goes on and the ways to quell/exterminate/minimize it, but what's the f-ing point if we're the ones that feed that shit.
Take a look for yourself at some of our "azn sistas":
http://www.aznfetish.com
When all the discussing, debating, flaming, and fighting are done, the final decision still lays with the af on how she wants to be portrayed. |
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Re: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish (Score: 1)
by DalaiWu on Saturday, July 24 @ 05:46:43 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | | This website is supposed to be for Asians. Both “jpma” and “Aznxcynical” are somehow not cognoscente of this fact. They apparently believe that living in the USA gives them the First Amendment right to run-off at the mouth and dishonor others of whom they know nothing about. I would suggest that you both return to your parents and ask them to give you the lessons of honor and propriety that you were obviously absent for. However, I believe that your mothers gave birth to idiots, and that the two of you are both incapable of learning what most Asians take for granted. The two of you must not be allowed to procreate; it should be forbidden to pass down your mutant genes to any offspring!!! The world does not need two Twinkies like the two of you who behave like the dishonorable and racist Western Imperialists who choose to treat us worst than their pets! And by-the-way, I suggest that the both of you find a learning specialist who is capable of teaching you how to properly extrapolate information from whatever it is that you chose to read—even if it is the newspaper comics that you two brainiacs must be very fond of! |
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Re: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish (Score: 1)
by DalaiWu on Saturday, July 24 @ 16:08:06 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | What both "ric" and "Aznxcynical" fail to understand is that the content and premise of their comments regarding the essay is quite separate from their own lack of understanding of proper propriety, behavior, or decorum that Asians are famous for. Your behavior shows that your upbringing was severely lacking. You could not sit down as a host with a diplomat from any Asian country nor could you attend a banquet dinner in Asia without demonstrating a total lack of understanding of Asian cultural protocol. They would not view you as Asian; they would just view you only as another “Ugly American”. No one Asian would feel comfortable to express himself or herself in a public forum in a manner so lacking in honor.
Although he was in jail and under duress for months, 72 year-old dissident Jiang Yanyong wrote quite eloquently, using medical a medical analogy, in the statements that he daily put to paper. Your parents obviously did not make sure that you absorbed this lesson. Your meanings may hold much validity but the manner in which you two express your POV's—we Chinese call it fangfa—is very stereotypical "Ugly American". You both are no different than Liming’s high school friend Jason—whom I agree is nothing but damaged goods. However, since this is an Asian site, one cannot get past your lack of communication protocol to get to the meaning of your written words because you are rude and offensive. You should be able to communicate your ideas and opinion without being uncivilized. When you are capable of such, I will then gladly debate you on any subject or agree with you on any subject that we may be mutually interested in discussing. This is unfortunate because the both of you are obviously intelligent but unfortunately extremely undisciplined.
Can either of you read, write, or speak fluently the language of your forebears? If not, then you cannot adequately think “Asian” because many words and phrases cannot be translated. And if you cannot, the aforementioned “Twinkie” comment definitely fits and you have no defense—so do not complain. Lastly, since neither one of you writes very well, why do you embarrass yourselves in public?
As for Liming’s essay, I am sure that she will respond to the many comments with as much fervor as the both of you when she returns from China. She will be both honored and surprised to see that her essay was posted as a “Special to ModelMinority.com”. However, I am also VERY sure that she will do so in the proper manner. She could never, ever, mistakenly be called an “Ugly American”; she learned the lessons of proper behavior that the two of you so obviously did not. Maybe…. the reason that you two so vehemently object to many Asian females decision to choose white mates—which I also abhor—is because your behavior makes you an UNDESIRABLE. I certainly would not welcome you into my home and Liming would know much better than to even contemplate introducing either one of you to me. I have frequently stated, “You can take the peasant out of the farm, but you cannot take the farm out of the peasant.” Unfortunately for the both of you, the Chinese also have a saying, "That it takes four generations to move from one social class to another". Will human beings still exist 12 generations into the future?
I am sure that you two Twinkies have heard of this old American saying, “If the shoe fits, wear it.”
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Re: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish (Score: 1)
by MigukNamja4 on Saturday, July 24 @ 21:18:00 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | First, I've read that there is scientific evidence that all men prefer darker skin in women as a sign of healthiness, just a signal for sexual selection.
Second, schooling is the one of two experiences in which most of the persons in middle-class America has to confront difference, the other being work. Most primary and secondary schooling is isolated and community-based and family life is very isolated. Suddenly, in high school and college, and for many at work, peeople have to deal with strangers in big groups.
I would n't look at it as "why?' so much as "how?" How can you affect these guys so that they learn about women and racial diversity positively and without friction. A clueless person only needs one good example to last a lifetime.
Although its objectifying (hey, try being the only white guy in an all-Korean, conservative neighborhood!) Or try teaching or just sitting on a subway when people stroke the hair on your arm because they never saw body hair. Just take it as a sign of your genetically-superior health and sexual selectivity! And, when, like Jason, you can educate someone for life, do it with pride and responsibilty, so maybe he will tell others and change his thinking and behavior.
In my first semester of college, I started participated in political groups. I used to use the masculine pronoun exclusively, but, in private, many women told me they found that habit offensive. This was...ahem...before PC! It opened up worlds of interpretation and interaction to me previously unknown, and also respect and soul-searching.
Really, the American population is only about 10% Asian, but growing faster than most other sectors. Consider yourself a path-breaker looking forward into a future when America can no longer ignore Asian-Americans, and the Pacific region in general. Instead of crisis, look for opportunity! |
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Re: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish (Score: 1)
by dsfusion on Sunday, July 25 @ 11:28:43 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | I agree with the comment that "Asian parents do not preach racism and Anti-White racism to their children but white parents do." That is because Asian are family oriented and whites are race oriented. We, Asians, do not care who we are dealing with as long as we can benefit from those relationships. And our parents usually don't care who we date with an expection that the person is edcuated and financially secured.
However, Whites are not that open-minded because race ideology is deeply ingrained into their identity. We have to remember their history is filled with race wars and literatures. From the rise of Hitler to establishment of Jim Crow laws in the South, their history is about Race.
That is why most Whites parents do not want their children to be in interracial relationships. They see interracial relationship as a betray to their history and identity.
But I predict that this kind of mindset will change as the minority population and shows featuring interracial couples increases. |
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Re: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish (Score: 1)
by jpma on Sunday, July 25 @ 11:55:21 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | sorry ladies, sexy-asian woman is just another way to refer to women in general, such as ultra super fine black sista (so-fine), or mamacita- sexy latina (oh yes), or absolutey beautiful blond goddess(i see the sunshine in your hair), and of course (for u asian ladies who are fine) beauty so supreme only the infinite knows(can't blame any non-asian for diggin the asian chicks, some, remember the word some of you are absolutely divine, who could resist....u'r lovin it!! don't deny it!!). most beautiful women i've seen have been in asia - goddesses which can walk on clouds. but remember perfection is a rarity not something rather common as most of us are.
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LIMING WU: A RESPONSE TO YOUR COMMENTS REGARDING MY ESSAY (Score: 1)
by scorpiogirl11 on Thursday, July 29 @ 00:33:05 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | LIMING WU: A RESPONSE TO YOUR COMMENTS REGARDING MY ESSAY
I would like to thank Andrew for honoring me and posting my essay as a “Special to ModelMinority.com”. I have just returned from Qingdao and I am suffering from big-time jetlag. However, I wish to take the time to thank all of you who accurately comprehended my essay from my point of view and supported me as well. For those of you who were not able to properly glean my perspective, I hope that you my responses below will elucidate it much more concretely. I wrote this essay because I felt very strongly about this situation. So strongly in fact, that I took the risk and made it my primary college application essay.
I refuse to dump 5,000 years of “embedded cultural DNA” down the toilet. Even though my family has been living primarily in the USA since before the fall of the Qing, I am Chinese and I prefer to live like one. I have not allowed myself to be corrupted or effected by the mass media that many of you seem cry about. My role as a student requires that I best position myself to be accepted to grad school. Therefore, I do not allow myself to become distracted and I adhere to what is commonly accepted as the proper behavior for an Asian undergraduate student; I do not date. As for all of you who wished to speculate as to what my personal preferences are, you are all wrong. Obviously, if you are not intellectually challenged, it should be easy to conclude from the contents of my essay that my choice of a future mate would be one that continues to provide for the future of my family; one that honors my parents, grandparents, and all those that came before them. That is what it means to be Chinese.
As far as Jason is concerned, I accept my friends for who they are, both the good and the bad. He adjusted as to how he interacted with me and he also understood my point of view. I consider that to be very positive. One does not have to drop an A-bomb to coerce movement in the right direction. Also, friends tend to be transient and frequently controlled by differing interests and periods of time. I am currently a sophomore at a liberal arts college and the manner in which I choose my friends is much more enlightened. Please keep in mind that this essay was written when I was just a 16 year-old junior in high school. Additionally, be advised that Jason is not white; so do not believe that people of color are so enlightened as to be incapable of perpetrating prejudice upon other ethnic minorities.
Remember, no matter how many times that we Asians look into the mirror, we will always look different from the white majority. It is inconsequential that my great-grandfather first started doing business here in the 1880’s; I know that I will always be viewed as a foreigner. Therefore, I wisely live as a Chinese in America, here in NYC’s Chinatown. This provides me with both the strength to resist whatever “garbage” that non-Asians choose to put me through and still maintain the ability to take advantage of the system that exists here without ever having to compromise my family’s values. But do not believe that we cannot also be discriminated upon by our own. This essay was also used as a writing sample for a summer program that I applied for at the Asian American Writer’s Workshop, a “Writing and Resistance Seminar”. Since I did not come across as a typical “Chinatown Girl” during my interview, they viewed me very differently and did not accept me. Therefore, when I write my first “best seller”, they will be the last organization that I will support.
Lastly, “Aznxcynical”, “jpma “, “metalface “, and “ric”, please do yourselves a favor and take an English Composition course. With that being said, I apologize if the four of you cannot find proper AF girlfriends that meet your standards. I believe that you should consider that maybe the AF’s do not like you and that they find you to be undesirable. Therefore, they find it necessary to look to others to compensate for your lack of ability to fulfill thei
Read the rest of this comment... |
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To Swinger203: Responding To Those With An Asian Fetish (Score: 1)
by DalaiWu on Friday, July 30 @ 03:38:14 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | “Anyway, bring on any topic and I will debate with you.”
I will take you at your word and assume that you are truly Asian and not some watered-down hybrid. Therefore, I would expect you to honor your word and respond accordingly.
Being elite is a strength, and it should be used especially while doing combat with Westerners. I certainly do not find the term to be at all negative. Being culturally Asian and intellectually superior to them is a weapon in which they cannot defend against. Using it in any of their arenas to engage in combat with them, in my experience, is the absolute best tool to disarm them. They are most ignorant of us in many ways, which allows us to use their own laws and social constraints against them—which is a far more powerful weapon than population/voting numbers in politics.
Why? ...Because it costs them money—their primary goal in life.
Secondly, it is not stereotypical to be a super polite Asian. Our enemies POV should not determine our standards of behavior. Nor should it be effected by their oppressive media. We Chinese call it "qizhi", and I subscribe to the belief that it should be upheld whether or not I am dealing with an elite, wealthy, White, blue-blooded N.E. liberal arts/Ivy college graduate, the landscaper, the pool cleaner, the parking garage attendant, or the fast food delivery person. They should all be treated respectfully. If you have ever observed a bicycle accident in China and the subsequent argument that may follow, the focus of the argument always changes when profanity is used. The focus is then on the dishonor of using said profanity. This typical behavior is evident whether or not you are dealing with students, professionals, peasants, or workers. It is a standard that I will not diverge from. In addition, upholding this standard directly attacks the mindsets of the typical Westerner, regardless of color, which renders them helpless in their pursuit of victory. Therefore, I win—and losing to them is certainly unacceptable.
Chinese use labels as a matter of fact. The negative or positive aspect of those labels is determined by the adjectives that describe them. I have never done that, and if I had, it was in error. Also, are you aware that there are many "rich peasants"? Socio-economic is a non-applicable terminology in this case. And if you really wish to read my previous postings concerning my interactions with others that you seem to emotionally sympathize with, I suggest that you also read between the lines. After all, if one were to read Jonathan Swift at face value, one would of course miss the point entirely.
In response to one of your other postings, the multiple usage of the same vocabulary is not due to the limitation of my linguistic capabilities (did you really count how many times I used the word LD?….impressive!). It was used because my opponent was just not able to open the door to see my POV. My experience with highly functional, high achieving LD students has been both quite extensive and successful—those were not standard tests that I had mentioned. The individual in question shows many of the classic symptoms of an LD, but chose to deflect and deny the inability to pull open the door to see what lay inside. I admit that the engagement became absurd, but I also had another goal in mind (see previous paragraph and/or previous posting regarding Sun Zi Bing Fa).
I am interested to see how honorable you are; it seems that only the female writers on this site have that quality. Surprise me!
With that being said, I will respond to your reply when my elitist body returns from Cornell at the end of this weekend.
Lastly, I never have the need to consult a Thesaurus....ever. |
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Asian Fetish (Score: 1)
by mathiason on Tuesday, August 17 @ 21:27:29 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | I know it sounds kinda ridiculous in this day and age, but this asian fetish has a lot to do with racism and some to do with colonialism. White guys get into this complex where they are "SAVING" asian women. they think that asian woman want them and have to "PUT UP" with asian men until they come and get them. thats why its okay to see asian or other minority women with white guys but a blk guy or asian guy with a white woman is a NONO. thats that colonialsim stuff. and white guys see their won white women these days as too empowered and too powerful so they are afraid and they project all these insecurities onto other races of women who they think they are above in the racial hierarchy, so they can "SAVE" them from their own sad asian men and it will all be right then - a powerful white man and a meek asian woman.
i blame the media, white poeple(of course) , and some of the asian women and their total lack of SITUATIONAL AWARENESS for falling for this.
they fall for this b/c you dont see any really strong asian male role models in media. they have dehumanized asian men and other to a point where we are almost invisible, like some odd thing at the museum.
and i have to say to asian women - if u have already gotten yourself into this bind, then oh well - but for those who think that you will find happiness with your fetish guy - think about your future - when u have half half keanu reeve looking younguns do you REALLY think that they will respect the asian part of their culture - duh no
they'll hop on the white train b/c its soo much easier and in a couple of generations you (asian woman) will be the odd asian person in the family album with a bunch of white people - and they'll say - oh yeah we had that chinese grandma like back then
so if you do NOT want to end up a ripley's believe it or not curiosity then consider marrying one of your "KIND" and then rasing them to love asain heritage
its like freaking genocide
peace out
-mathiason |
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