I think the dating imbalance, i.e. more Caucasian males with Asian Females versus Asian males with Caucasian females, is caused by a racist media in America that portrays Asian male as undesirable, asexual, nerdy, and so on, and Asian female as the ready toy for any white guy, no matter how dorky, as Wayne's World or Star Trek amply illustrate for us.

For instance, there are eight hundred Asian female anchors, one for each major metropolitan area in the United States. But there is only one Asian male news anchor in the entire United states. There are eight hundred thousand films and movies with Asian female love interests with white guys; there are about three films with Asian guys as the love interest of any ethnicity. Usually, if Asian males appear in films, he usually comes out as the dorky underling of a white man. If you are puzzled by what I mean, go rent the video tapes of Gung Ho, Mr. Baseball, and others.

If you watch any TV sitcom or movies, there are about eight hundred more Asian female actors used that Asian males. Why? Exotica. Writer of these programs are all white. You only need to look at small prints where the credits are given to find out. In fitting with the four hundred-year-old tradition of colonialist representations of the non-white, they portray the women as lustful, exotic, something easy to possess. A pleasure.

The white man would love to erase the threat of the Asian male, so they conveniently disappear from the media. Strange, when considering that we exist and all.

I honestly believe that some Asian females, when they see garbage cans like Wayne's World and Mr. Baseball, would feel that society likes it better when they date white guys. As far as the racists who would treat them as toys, and dolls and accompaniment to exotic food, this is true. But as an issue of self-respect, dating out can also mean that you accept the colonialist structure, you think that your father is an evil and asexual man, that the white man is god, that Asians are inherently lower than whites. Yes, I believe that a lot of Asian girls accept this.

At the same time, I know that Wayne's World is filled with nothing but trash. I know that a girl that fine would never go out with a nerd-o like that. I know that a lot of Asian girls know what's going on and don't buy into the structure that makes them a sex doll in a cage by a bowl of chow mein.

I also know that a lot of girls who have problems with their fathers like to date out of their ethnicity. This is true in my mother's case and in some friend's cases. So the issue isn't entirely black-and-white.

But we must replace the nerdy white guys sitting in Hollywood writing jerk-off fantasies with something we know is actual reality--there are just as many good-looking, masculine Asian guys out there, with a lot to teach and a lot to share. And there are a great many independent, exciting Asian women who are not dolls but intellectuals, not toys nor appetizers but people who are artistic, beautiful, sweet, strong and real.

We should discard these false glasses over our eyes, and see each other in the clear, with our beautiful faces, and our true hearts.